Wrist Cutter

*TRIGGER WARNING; DON'T CONTINUE IF YOU'RE TRIGGERED  EASILY I don't wanna be responsible for anyone's harm*



So..
I wrote this poem when I was depressed.. The day my mom hated me and told me how worthless I am. That I'm mental and I always depress myself.. I did cut that day, but I managed to stop myself from going far too deep and picked up the pen. This is my first poem actually, so it might not be that great. But emotions flowed inside me and that's what I came up with.

Wrist Cutter

The blade dances on her skin 

As shivers creep down her spine

Left alone on the cold damp floor

She struggles with her own thoughts

Everyday she promises to stop

Until crimson blood flows down her wrists

And she realizes what she's done.

The blade seems to be her only friend

What a waste of good clean wrists

She looks in the mirror and cries

Cursing everything that comes to her mind 

Looking forward to the day

That she finally dies

The pain she feels she can no longer hide 

She trusts so easily when people promise

To end up knowing

That promises are lies

Everybody leaves...

She feels unloved unwanted

She cries endless times a day

Holding the blade 

Waiting for the worst to come

And does what she does every single day

She slits her skin

One day she tries to stop

Only to find a black shadow

Hovering over her

Poisoning her thoughts

He crashes her to the wall

Yelling at her beating her up

Urging her to listen to that small voice

That sweet sharp voice

Calling her... Begging her not to leave

She gives in and listens 

Picking up her blade

Who seems to be her only friend

And she slits her skin

She asks him 

He who towers above her

"Am I beautiful now?"

He strokes her hair gently

And tells her she did good

but she's better off dead

Thoughts creep into her mind

Taking control of her hand

What's the point of living 

If there's nothing to live for?

Now it's too late

That girl died

They found her on her bed

Her throat slit every which way

She didn't deserve to die they said

Lies. The walls screamed

You left her, you never cared

"Stop hurting yourself!" 

That's all you ever say

Now it's too late that girl died

She flitted straight up

to where no one could touch her

I guess when you live in hell

Heaven always wins.

that's all.. I hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks for the views!

Real bands save fans, real fans save bands.

Andy Biersack : Stopped wearing what he used to wear, stopped the makeup and war paint, cut his hair short and stopped dying it black, became a busy guy and doesn't really have time to hang around with fans and all that. (got hated on by his own fans)

Kellin Quinn: Made an $80 package for the upcoming tour. (Got hated on by his own fans)

Tony Perry: Got a new neck tattoo and got his ears sewn (his own fans started hating on it)

And now Oli sykes : Got a new face tattoo, a feather, and his fans are already giving their hatred opinions on it.

Okay lets get one thing fucking straight.

Don't go crying yourself to sleep at night and get fucking depressed when people judge you for how you look or what you wear or do.

Andy: he doesn't have time to hang around his fans anymore because he's not a teenager anymore, this is basically his job there's no need to explain any further, and as I said before, he got tired of his old look...you know having long hair is a pain in the fucking ass for a guy, so is putting on makeup and wearing warpaint, plus it's his own body he can do whatever he wants so please just stop.

Kellin: Really? you're hating on him and you're making all these damn jokes and he's not even the one who came up with the package, moreover the package is worth somewhere around $120 yet it's $80 and you don't really have to buy it if you don't want to.

Tony: Are you serious? And again it's his own body, if you like being judged then go ahead and judge him for doing things he wants with his own body.

Oli: No I'm not even gonna say anything more than the things I said up there.

Don't hate on them for making their own decisions, they're grown up and they realize what they're doing, also you're not really a fan if you're just going to judge them by their looks.

These decisions that they're making are showing us who's a true fan, and who's a fan of their looks.

You're NOT a fan when..

So today I'm just going to make a point that every true fan would like to point out.

Which is supporting your band no matter what changes occur.

Most fans have strung along with their band from unknown to fame. And have witnessed all of their achievements, events, awards, puberty, good times and even band times.. And along comes the changes.

Now, those changes have different effects, sure you might be shocked, surprised, enthusiastic but hate?

I mean really? You're just going to hate on a band, that you've loved so much and so dearly and you've appreciated for saving you from your miserable moments and bad life, giving you the time of your life and helping you escape from reality JUST because their style changed? wow. Well, in this case. You're not a fan. You're just one of those haters who're waiting for anything to hate on. And I'm just gonna say it straight. It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen to happen.

Here's a newsflash you "so called a fan", looks doesn't change what's inside a person. In fact, looks have NOTHING to do with how a person is or how he acts. It's just an appearance to show your taste and different styles and if you didn't know this, people like to change looks from time to time.

It's rather lame sticking to the same look till the rest of your life! Like, are you ready to wear the exact same tshirt and jeans until you end up lying in a box? Of course not. And same goes with celebrities. 

They're human beings, people, like you and me that get bored. Just like how you love wearing new fresh makeup or clothes they love the same. The fact that they've changed their style has nothing to do with their performance or character what so ever! So keep your taunting tongue for yourself.

And I've noticed lately that some "fans" have been hating on Black Veil Brides because they've put on a new look. Really? I mean logically, no one can keep wearing tons of makeup everyday and take fucking hours to remove it and do the same bloody thing for years. It's just unbearable. And I'm sure if you've tried to do the same you would't last a week. Besides, I don't see how their new look is affecting their performance or changing them in any way...In fact, they're getting even better! And their new look is smoking HOT! I totally support them in whatever they do. Especially that new look. And if you truly wanna be called a fan, you need to be 100% loyal and supportive towards your band. That's all!

And to that fan who said Andy Biersack's new look sucks and he/she wants the old one. Go bang your head to a wall till your head bleeds because Andy isn't changing for anyone. He's perfect the way he is and I'm truly ashamed of you for making him actually feel like crying...I pity the existence of people doing such things and claiming they're fans.  Because they're anything BUT fans. ok

this is the picture where Andy seems to have puffy red eyes, because as I said before, some fans are stoned.

I mean C'mon!!! How can you NOT love their super cool new look??

rawrr :3

Stay Strong Ronnie.

I finally have time to blog! And today I want to give all my consolation to the great Ronnie Radke.
His brother, Anthony, died two days ago in a car accident..And I know how it feels.
It fucking hurts. I lost one of my beloved people due to speed and I feel so sorry for him to lose such a great person for such an accident..

Fuck car accidents, fuck speed, fuck everything..All this carelessness is taking lives and no one's doing anything, at least people, they should be more aware..

But enough with preaching and let's take a moment and pray..Not only for Ronnie but for every person who's lost a dear one in such accidents. May their souls rest in peace.

And because Ronnie is one of my all time favorite artists, I just wanna say that,
Stay strong Ronnie. I know a brother is irreplaceable ,but you're not alone in this, your fans are with you and supporting you, so is your fiance and your father and your friends. You're a great person and your brother was a great person too and I'm sure he's in a better place now..I hope his family is okay...Just don't let any thoughts get to you, what happened is not your fault. You have a great daughter to take care of and being depressed won't make anything easier.
Remember, you're not alone in this, so many people love you and are with you.

Don't lose hope, Keep on hanging.

Thank you Tokio Hotel.

I have the urge to talk about one of my favorite bands, well actually my first band EVER, that opened the way for me to discover new better music, all thanks go to Tokio Hotel. { um never mind about the grammar I'm half German so yeah }

So now, lay back and get some popcorn because I'm about to write a full entry:')

It was a day, just like any other day…
I was on facebook on my page, practically, and some random chick linked me a song saying it describes her and stuff and I kinda thought it was weird, I mean what's it got to do with me? 

And that song was?
Tokio Hotel- Monsoon.

Me? I was like " huhhh? Who on earth is Tokio Hotel" so I clicked and listened, only to find myself replaying the song over and over and over and over again until I forgot everything around me.
At the beginning I was wondering who she is by trying to link the lyrics with her being, but couldn't figure out until she told me. But the song? Kept playing and playing in my ears. I couldn't get enough! It had this…this something..I don't know how to say it..Addiction over attraction over beauty over a mixture of perfection and so on…His voice, the vocalist, took hold of me and I couldn't break free..Like a poor bird stuck in the cunning fox's trap. And that was it.
I downloaded the song on my MP3 as my second best after 1D….Ew 1D I have no idea how I used to like them? They're fags.
Anyway, I got more interested day after day in knowing this band so I looked up their picture on google,
Result? I fell in love.
They were sooooo sexy so attractive so addictive and mind blowing! I couldn't get my eyes off of them! Especially that vocalist, Bill Kaulitz, his beauty haunted me for the rest of my days.
I searched more and more, info, videos, pictures, other songs..I remember that my second song I heard for them was "Ready Set Go" it was damn amazing! And then I listened to every song possible…
And that's how my diseasing obsession began.

Now?
My MP3 is loaded with their songs, the PC's spammed with Tokio Hotel, My mind is singing their songs 24/7 and I can't watch, hear or eat anything without relating to them. They became my life and my heroes through all the hard time I go through. They're my own little family, they make me smile like there's no tomorrow, I owe them so much…And you've no idea what I'll do to get a TH room even one poster! I hope one day I'll even catch a concert!
As you know, they took a break from singing and stuff for about 3+ years or something like that, but now in 2013 they're releasing their new albuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!!! OMG!! I'm OVER-excited! After all this time! New tours are on the way! And new photos, vids and all! I just hope the paparazzi gives them a break so they won't disappear to India as they said they want to  …Hope not.

Well, I can't express my love and excitement towards them in any kind of way! They're beyond extraordinary! Beyond perfection. They are Tokio Hotel.

~And plus I gotta thank them for helping me discover other bands that I love now like Bring Me The Horizon.

    those are MY BABIES. thank you Tokio Hotel, I LOVE YOU ALIENS!

Rest In Peace.

Another day, another boy, another soul has been lost.

I'm still in a state of shock after hearing a while ago about the suicide of another boy. 

His name was Jake.

And what hurts me even more, is that we used to follow each other on twitter since we both belonged to the same fandom, and.. I never got the chance to say Hi... 

I cannot say he was good or bad because I don't know him, but what I know is that he was only another human that had been treated badly in his life. I should've known since he tweeted mostly about depression and how he hates his life and...(I'm crying again.) 

Eveytime I hear about someone killing himself something fades inside of me..Nothing has been the same after my best friend herself commited suicide and there's one thing I'm sure of, NON of them deserved this. 

>> I hate people. I hate bullying. I hate treating other people like dogs leading them to suicide.

THIS HAS TO STOP.

All I see around is people encouraging the fight against bullying and spreading the word about how we all need to work together to stop what's happening and bla bla bla..

Words. That's our problem. How are we supposed to expect a whole new, better world if we don't take actions? Not just in one country. There has to be an organization for this matter WORLDWIDE, visiting schools monthly, checking up on children, talking and figuring out if there's anyone going against the other...

Maybe there's already something like that, but I don't see them coming to my school.

All I ever wish for, is for all of this mess to stop..Those people who bully others to earn laughs and cheers are pathetic people looking for attention. And bullying other people won't help them. Let's say they bullied him/her and got the popularity, then what? They're gonna graduate and live their own lives leaving behind them, hurt, damaged, abused people..And pain is never easy to just forget and move on..It remains as scars. And some of those people are weak..What would those bullies feel when they hear that years later, this particular person whom they made his/her life a living hell back in school, has finally done it and killed himself/herself? 

People should stop acting like animals and support each other. Be there for each other and hug and kiss the other to comfort whenever they can..Because each and every person is just another human. Like you. Like me. So respect him as much as you respect yourself.

And I don't wanna hear about any other person committing suicide or I'm gonna..