Be Yourself

So, I was walking in the mall the other day with my cousin and I had my Black Veil Brides shirt on. I kinda felt uneasy and like scared and kept hiding my shirt.. I guess I felt a bit insecure that people are gonna judge me on what I wear and I don't know I guess I was afraid of that. But like in the end I realized that I'm just covering what I love and what defines my personality, my likes and I hated that so I stopped hiding.
A realization hit me.

Why are most of us afraid of showing who we really are. Like, that shirt says what I like, who I am as a teenage so I shouldn't be embarrassed by it? I'm not sure "embarrassed" is the right word but it kinda describes the moment. And when I stopped hiding it, I felt kinda strong or something like I'm in control and I won't let my thoughts get the best of me. So practically what happened is that I shut that little voice in the back of my head that always keeps me caged in my insecurities. And although it's kind of an insignificant situation but it did make me learn something and that's the whole point.

You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are or what you like and stuff because that's what defines you as a person, I mean that's how you were born and you should embrace that. Nobody's like the other. Every person is different and if someone is making fun of someone else just because he differs from him then that person is a loser and simple-minded.

So, basically be who you are and unleash yourself and never let anyone put you down, don't even let your own self put you down, because you are all amazing human beings!



By the way, I got a couple of compliments on my shirt.. Oh yeah ;)

Thank you, Andy Biersack. ❤

On June 9th 2012. I met Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides at download festival 2012.
And it was literally the best day of my entire life.

I couldn't believe that, I from among all those people, got a chance to talk to Andy Biersack even for only 5 minutes. I made him a promise that day to try to be more positive, to fight my depression, the need to self harm, suicidal attempts. To always find the bright light even in the darkest situations, not to let anything or anyone put me down. And to keep living with a positive attitude.

I told him my story, and he listened to me. He told me he believed in me, that i'm strong and promised that things always do get better. He asked me to keep my promise for him and myself. I literally bawled in front of him. I told him how much he, the band and their music mean to me and how much they've saved me.

He asked me, the next time we meet, to update him on how i'm doing with this and how i'm feeling..

less than a month ago I turned 15. And 15 days ago I was confirmed to have cancer, Leukemia. And just two days ago one of my friends committed suicide and my parents didn't give me the comfort I need, they never did.. I thought that my life was over. That everything's fucked up. That there's no reason for me to be alive. I remembered that promise I made to Andy and suddenly everything seemed.. Brighter.
I convinced myself to try to maintain being positive. I told myself that i'm not the only 15 year old with cancer, there are other kids even suffering worst types, that million other people suffer the loss of a loved one, that some kids are even being hit and mutilated by their own parents.

I fought my depression and won. I'm now writing this with a smile on my face. And it's all thanks to Andy.