All my life, I always felt unlucky. I used to always watch kids around me bubbling with laughter and filled with joviality, having a hand to hold, ears to confine secrets to, bodies to heat and fingers to wipe away their straining tears.
And then there's me. The only girl with no one but herself to hold and console.
I'm talking about friendship.
Not love but something else that is forever craved by a beating heart.
And my beating heart still lusts over it.
All my life I've never felt the magic behind friendship or maybe I have, for a fraction, but the magic soon turned into a black crow eating at my insides.
Friend ship has back stabbed me so many times.
I've lost the ability to pronounce the word friend let alone trust.
Every person I've let come near has abandoned me leaving nothing but open scars.
I've given up on frienship.
Be careful if you're reading this and trust me saying this. Never give a friend your full will and soul because they might hold on to it but the time will come when that hold tightens up only to crush.
And you'll be left unhealed.
I'm not being narcissistic like some might say, I have nothing against real friendship. If you've been so blessed as to have one then you're one in a million who's been oh so miraculously given mercy and shielded from the darkness that evolves around that word.
Friendship.
I just want to beg you all to never give anyone your full trust. Don't ever rely on someone like your whole being depended on them. They're not from the same blood. They'd never fully appreciate you back, no matter how close you are.
There's always a demon.
Some things are better unsaid.
